How Can We Handle Negative Feelings During the COVID-19 Pandemic?
In our usual day-to-day life, we're often rushing through activities, distracted by the environment, street noise, and people around us. We don’t always pay much attention to how we feel or why.
With the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, things have changed. Many of us have been spending more time at home, with fewer distractions. Whether we’re alone or with family, this shift has led us to turn inward more than we normally would. The pandemic has brought its own set of challenges—fear, anxiety, loneliness, and even depression. This combination of more time to reflect and heightened negative emotions can be a recipe for emotional distress. That's why it’s more important than ever to take control of these emotions and maintain our well-being.
In this post, we’ll cover practical strategies that can help you manage negative emotions during difficult times. These tips are crucial not only for fostering emotional growth but also for preserving well-being amid stress and adversity.
Why Managing Negative Feelings Matters
Expressing Negative Feelings Has Health Benefits
Bottling up emotions, also known as emotional inhibition or “feeling stuffing,” is associated with many health risks. Studies have shown that people who suppress their feelings are at a higher risk for various health conditions, including cardiac disease, stroke, and even cancer. Research by Tamara Kotler and colleagues has found that emotional control—the suppression of negative feelings—is the main link between stress and physical health issues. Another recent study revealed that suppressing emotions can increase mortality rates over the long term.
However, expressing negative feelings can be difficult. What if bringing these emotions to the surface feels too overwhelming?
How Do We Develop the Ability to Tolerate Emotions in Childhood?
According to John Bowlby’s Attachment Theory, a child's early relationships with caregivers play a crucial role in their personal development and ability to manage emotions. Secure attachments, formed when caregivers respond to distress with soothing, teach children how to handle difficult emotions effectively. By the time a child reaches two years of age, they’ve learned how to comfort themselves using an internal representation of their caregivers' comforting actions.
Children with secure attachments learn to tolerate and process negative emotions better. On the other hand, children with avoidant or insecure attachments often grow up struggling to deal with emotions, which can continue into adulthood.
Learning Emotional Tolerance in Adulthood
If you didn’t develop a secure attachment in childhood, it’s still possible to learn how to tolerate uncomfortable emotions as an adult. Techniques like meditation and visualization can be helpful for developing self-soothing skills and emotional resilience. While these practices take time, they can significantly improve emotional processing and tolerance.
What If the People We're Locked Down With Are Driving Us Crazy?
Being at home full-time with family or partners can lead to feelings of irritation or frustration. It’s entirely normal to feel this way—we may be spending more time together than we’re used to, and tensions can rise. But it’s crucial to keep our relationships positive and prevent communication from becoming toxic, especially since we can’t easily get away from each other during a lockdown. Here’s how you can manage anger and negative feelings while keeping your relationships strong:
5 Practical Tips for Dealing with Anger and Negative Feelings
Pay Attention to Your Emotions - Notice how you handle negative feelings when they start to build. Do you express them or keep them bottled up? Reflect on your typical reactions.
Express Frustration Calmly - The key is not to suppress your feelings but to express them in a calm manner. Share what made you feel upset and why, without allowing the conversation to escalate.
Take Responsibility for Your Role - Be honest with yourself—how might you have contributed to the issue? Taking responsibility can defuse conflicts and help foster understanding.
End on a Positive Note - During an argument, it’s easy to focus on someone’s flaws. But are these imperfections all you see in that person? Try to express appreciation for their positive qualities before ending the conversation.
Practice Forgiveness - We’re living through stressful and unprecedented times. Holding grudges only adds to our mental burden. Practice letting go and “taking out the trash” from your mind.
These tips are inspired by the principles of communication discussed by John Gray in his book What You Feel, You Can Heal, which emphasizes healthy emotional expression and resolving disagreements.
Our Emotions Are Our Mirror—Let’s Learn to Embrace Them
The world around us can trigger negative emotions, but we don’t need to let them take root within us. During the lockdown, we have the opportunity to explore our inner world—to learn how to face, accept, and process uncomfortable emotions.
Improving our communication skills, changing our perspective, and practicing forgiveness can set us free from emotional burdens. It’s not an easy journey, and it might take a lot of practice. But if we make the effort to invest in our emotional growth, we’ll reap the benefits for our mental and physical well-being.
Take this time to turn inward and grow—you deserve it.
Taken from an article posted on attachmentproject.com
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