By nature, we are wired to turn to loved ones for care and comfort. While there is nothing inherently dysfunctional about wanting to be loved, when nurturance isn’t provided, we tend to seek alternative methods to self-soothe. It is at this point that addiction and attachment begin to interrelate.
Addictions to substances such as drugs and alcohol, or rituals around food, gambling, and sex, can become compensatory mechanisms for substituting the internal balance that a secure attachment typically provides. This isn’t to suggest that someone with a secure attachment style can’t experience addiction. Research, however, sheds light on the idea that addiction may be an attachment disorder.
In this article, we’ll discuss the relationship between addiction and attachment theory by covering:
The link between addiction and attachment
What addiction is
The biological and psychological aspects of addiction
Addiction as an attachment disorder
Whether we can be addicted to a person
Treating addiction through connection
The Link Between Addiction and Attachment Theory
Addiction is complex – both in how it develops and how it is maintained. One contending view is that addiction is an attachment disorder.
From a very early age, humans are innately driven to forge connections with others to meet needs for closeness and comfort. According to Bowlby’s attachment theory, how our caregivers meet these needs determines the attachment style we develop.
When caregivers are available and sensitive to a child’s needs, the child develops a secure attachment style, gaining a sense of safety, security, and comfort that serves as a source of resilience against life’s challenges. In contrast, children with insecure attachment styles often lack such resources. Caregivers who are inconsistent, rejecting, or neglectful may leave these children vulnerable to addiction as they seek ways to cope with feelings of loneliness, emptiness, and discomfort through self-medication.
What is Addiction?
Addiction is defined by a lack of control over taking, doing, or using something to the point where it becomes harmful. The DSM-5 (the most widely used psychodiagnostic manual) describes addiction with eleven criteria, including taking a substance in larger quantities or for longer periods than intended, struggling to stop, and having intense cravings.
We commonly associate addiction with drugs, alcohol, nicotine, and gambling, but it can also be linked to:
Connections with others
Social media
Food
Sexual activity
Exercise
Work
Solvents
Shopping
A core aspect of addiction is the compulsive nature around a substance or behavior and the sacrifices made to obtain a psychological or physical “high.” Many people living with addiction feel they cannot control their habits for sustained periods without treatment and intervention.
The Biological Aspect of Addiction
Researchers don’t yet fully understand why some people develop addictions while others don’t, but there is an undeniable neurological component. During addiction development, the pleasure/reward pathway in the brain starts working against the individual, creating a cycle of wanting more and more.
Dopamine, a central neurotransmitter in the reward pathway, plays a major role in pleasure, and is strongly linked to addiction. It is released when we take substances, engage in certain activities, or see someone we love. The opioid system, which governs feelings of pain and pleasure, is also involved, releasing endorphins that dull pain and increase pleasure. The problem occurs when the brain only associates dopamine and endorphin release with a particular substance or activity, leading to addiction.
At this point, when normal activities no longer bring pleasure, anxiety and stress can occur when not engaging in the addictive behavior. Moreover, the prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making, can be damaged by repeated substance abuse, making it difficult to recognize harm.
The Psychological Component of Addiction: Rat Park
While neurological factors are key, addiction is not purely biological. In the 1970s, Bruce Alexander and colleagues conducted studies to better understand substance abuse. Rats were given a choice between water with drugs or without. Initially, many chose the drug-infused water. However, when placed in a stimulating environment ("Rat Park") with toys and other rats, most rats chose not to consume the drug-infused water.
This experiment highlighted that addiction is not just a physical response; environment and connection play significant roles. Feeling engaged and connected to one’s surroundings can deter addiction.
Addiction as Strong Bonding
According to sociologist Peter Cohen, addiction could be viewed as "strong bonding"—an emotional process that creates ties that cannot easily be severed. The stronger the bond, the harder it is to distance oneself from the object of the bond, whether it’s a person, substance, or behavior.
Addiction as an Attachment Disorder
Addiction and attachment are closely linked, especially in how addiction can arise from relational problems. Similarities exist between addiction criteria and insecure attachment behaviors, including:
Dedicating time to obtaining or using substances or behaviors
Sacrificing other social activities
Emotional dysregulation during withdrawal
Continued use despite negative consequences
How Does Addiction Relate to Attachment Styles?
Addictions May Be Rooted in Childhood Abuse: Over 80% of people with drug addiction have experienced some form of abuse or neglect. This is particularly evident in individuals with a disorganized attachment style, who often have histories of childhood mistreatment.
Addictions Harm Interpersonal Relationships: People with substance dependencies struggle to maintain healthy relationships. Substance use may create conflict, trust issues, and hurt feelings, further damaging connections.
Addictions Provide a False Sense of Regulation: Individuals with insecure attachment styles may turn to substances as a way to manage intense emotions that they were not taught to regulate effectively.
Can You Be Addicted to a Person?
Attachment serves to help us feel safe and secure. While it is normal to rely on loved ones, it is important to distinguish between healthy dependence and addiction to a person. Limerence, a form of romantic obsession, involves excessive preoccupation, insecurity, and an emotional rollercoaster, resembling addiction.
Treating Addiction Through Connection
“The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.” — Johann Hari
When treating addiction from an attachment perspective, the focus is twofold: healing attachment wounds and resolving dependency. Healthy relationships, support groups, and couples counseling can help individuals create a stable support base, reducing the risk of relapse.
Final Words
If you are struggling with addiction, it is essential to seek professional support. The right therapist or doctor can make a positive difference. Reaching out to family and friends can also create a sense of safety and stability in the recovery process.
Please remember, this information does not replace professional help. Consult a healthcare professional before making decisions regarding your health.
References
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Taken from an article posted on attachmentproject.org
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