We all experience highly intense emotions at some point in our lives. However, as powerful and overwhelming as these emotions might seem, it is possible to overcome and regulate them. It’s entirely within your power to learn how. In this introductory post, we will explore the basics behind emotions and emotion regulation. Throughout this series, we’ll dive deeper into the specifics of emotional regulation to help you take control of your emotional well-being.
Have you ever wondered why we can act so impulsively when we’re in love? Or why we feel like a completely different person when we're mad? Perhaps you’ve experienced the feeling of being entirely consumed by negativity when something goes wrong?
The truth is that while we often assume these intense feelings are directly linked to external circumstances, they are, in fact, closely connected to how we regulate our emotions. While we often attribute emotions to the heart, the truth is that emotions are driven and regulated by our brains. The role of the brain in managing emotions is quite complex, but our aim here is to break down these concepts in a simple, digestible way.
What This Post Will Cover
What are emotions?
How does the brain process emotions?
Why do we sometimes feel like our emotions control us?
Do we learn how to regulate emotions from our parents?
What can you do to regulate your emotions?
What Are Emotions?
An emotion is a psychological, physical, and behavioral response. For example, imagine you’re watching a scary movie. The main character is about to enter a room you know is dangerous. Your heart starts racing, your palms get sweaty, and you fidget anxiously while thinking, “Don’t go in there!” These are the physical and behavioral components of an intense emotion — fear.
Emotions arise from interactions between cognitive (thought) and affective (emotional) processes [1]. They are influenced by the environment, individual physical processes, behaviors, self-representations, and even schemas that shape how we perceive reality [2].
How Does the Brain Process Emotions?
The limbic system is the part of the brain responsible for processing emotions. Key components include the thalamus, hypothalamus, hippocampus, and amygdala [4, 5].
Thalamus: Assesses whether incoming information from our environment is important and decides whether it should be processed or ignored. Fun fact: Our sense of smell is the only sensation that the brain cannot ignore.
Hypothalamus: Acts as a bridge between the body and the brain, releasing hormones and regulating bodily functions such as temperature. This is why you might feel restless or fidgety when nervous.
Hippocampus: Responsible for memory and learning, especially the transition of short-term memory to long-term memory.
Amygdala: Plays a role in emotions like fear, anxiety, aggression, and pleasure. In the scary movie example, the amygdala is responsible for the fear you experience.
Are We Controlled by Our Emotions, or Do They Control Us?
Sometimes, intense emotions seem to completely take over, making it difficult to be rational. For centuries, emotions were perceived as irrational impulses, carrying a negative connotation. Eventually, emotions gained an evolutionary explanation: they serve as warning signals for situations that require our attention, removing some of the stigma.
However, even today, intense emotional displays can be seen as signs of a lack of self-control or immaturity [6]. In essence, emotions are both regulators and signals. They inform us that we are experiencing something significant but also require effort to avoid impulsive reactions. This process is called emotion regulation, while its failure is referred to as emotion dysregulation [6].
Emotion dysregulation happens when emotional patterns interfere with our psychological or physical balance. For example, prolonged sadness can lead to depression. Children with avoidant attachment styles, for instance, often over-regulate emotions, suppressing them rather than expressing them.
Do We Learn Emotion Regulation from Our Parents?
A parent's role in their child’s emotion regulation is essential.
Invalidation: When parents dismiss or ignore their child’s emotions, the child may learn that their emotions are bad or unwanted, leading them to suppress these feelings, a pattern that can evolve into emotional dysregulation [7].
Attachment: Emotion regulation is strongly linked to attachment, which is shaped by the relationship between a child and their parents. Securely attached children are generally better at regulating emotions and problem-solving, whereas insecurely attached children are more prone to emotion dysregulation due to a lack of perceived safety and support [3].
Generational Influence: Research shows that parents with emotion dysregulation often pass these traits onto their children, as kids tend to replicate their parents’ patterns of emotional expression [7].
What Can You Do to Regulate Intense Emotions?
Researchers have identified three main methods for emotion regulation: reappraisal, suppression, and acceptance [8].
Reappraisal: Changing how we perceive an emotional situation. For instance, when an avoidant attacher feels triggered by a partner’s clingy behavior, they could reinterpret it as a sign of how much their partner cares for them.
Suppression: Blocking the expression of an emotion while still feeling it. For example, someone might feel the need for attention but choose not to act on it to avoid negative outcomes.
Acceptance: Acknowledging an intense emotion without attempting to change or stop it. This technique, often linked to mindfulness, is associated with increased resilience and reduced negative affect [10].
Conclusion: Regulating Intense Emotions
Regulating intense emotions is complex and varies from person to person. It all comes down to how our brains process information from our daily experiences. Intense emotions are an unavoidable part of life, so the goal isn’t to eliminate them but to learn how to handle them effectively.
If you’re curious to learn more about emotion regulation, stay tuned for upcoming articles in this series!
References
Panksepp, J. (2008). The Affective Brain and Core Consciousness. In Lewis, M., Haviland-Jones, J.M., Barrett, L.F. (Eds.) Handbook of Emotions (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
Frijda, N.H. (2008). Psychologist’s Point of View. In Lewis, M., Haviland-Jones, J.M., Barrett, L.F. (Eds.) Handbook of Emotions (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
Fredrickson, B.L., & Cohn, M.L. (2008). Positive Emotions. In Lewis, M., Haviland-Jones, J.M., Barrett, L.F. (Eds.) Handbook of Emotions (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
Rajmohan, V., & Mohandas, E. (2007). The limbic system. Indian Journal of Psychiatry, 49(2), 132-139.
Courtiol, E., & Wilson, D.A. (2015). The olfactory thalamus: unanswered questions about the role of the mediodorsal thalamic nucleus in olfaction. Frontiers in Neural Circuits, 9, 49.
Cole, P.M., Michel, M.K., & Teti, L.O. (1994). The Development of Emotion Regulation and Dysregulation: A Clinical Perspective. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 59(2-3), 73-102.
Buckholdt, K.E., Parra, G.R., & Jobe-Shields, L. (2013). Intergenerational Transmission of Emotion Dysregulation Through Parental Invalidation of Emotions. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 23, 324-332.
Goldin, P.R., McRae, K., Ramel, W., & Gross, J.J. (2008). The Neural Bases of Emotion Regulation: Reappraisal and Suppression of Negative Emotion. Biological Psychiatry, 63(6), 577-586.
Troy, A.S., Shallcross, A.J., & Mauss, I.B. (2013). A Person-by-Situation Approach to Emotion Regulation. Psychological Science, 24(12), 2505-2514.
Wojnarowska, A., Kobylinska, D., & Lewczuk, K. (2020). Acceptance as an emotion regulation strategy in experimental psychological research. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 242.
Taken from an article posted on attachmentproject.org
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